A couple of days ago, the Man cut a hole in the door that leads into the laundry room, where our litter box is. He stuck this thing in the hole to make it look nice, but face it, a hole it still a hole. Apparently, we are wxpected to use this hole to get to the litter box.

Well. I wasn't having any of that. So I peed on the bathroom floor.

Victory was mine and they opened the door. But why should I make it easy for them? There's no good reason for them to have it easy!

So this morning I peed in the empty laundry basket in the bathroom.

Now, the downside is that the Woman didn't get mad; she just cleaned it up and sprayed this enzyme stuff (that frankly doesn't work) and asked me if I was feeling all right. And then she went on about how I don't act sick or anything and the box was reasonably clean, so why am I peeing in her bathroom?

Duh.

Because I can.

Well...yeah...

This is why I'm glad I'm an indoor kitty:


Got the cold air blowing thingy going in here, got a brand new fountain spewing filtered water, got a perch on top of the climbing tower near a cool air vent, and Buddah is off somewhere napping and not bothering me.

Today, life is good.

Yesterday, my water fountain stopped working. It was working, but then the Man picked it up to clean it, and when he as done and had it filled and plugged back in, it just didn't work anymore. So he said a whole bunch of fun words and picked it back up so he could take it apart and fix it.

But it wouldn't fix.

Now, the people were tired. They had already been outside where it was hot because they had things to do that required driving back to near where we used to live, and they really didn't want to have to go back out, especially since the only place to get me a new fountain was back near where we used to live.

But the Man said, "Max won't drink unless the water is running, will he?"

And the Woman said, "He has to drink."

Buddah said, "Hey, no one ever asks me what *I* want to drink out of and I don't like the fountain and I don't think you've ever seen me drink out of it AT ALL but is there a bowl on the floor for me instead of the fountain? I don't think so!"

No one listened to Buddah, though, because he doesn't take breaths and it's like one long word coming out of him anyway. Sometimes, the People think he's speaking Spanish. Or maybe Spanglish. Either way they can't understand him.

So even though the people were really tired and it was really hot outside they got in the car and went back to where we used to live and bought me a new fountain.

Do I own them or what?

The birthday was decent. I did not get any real live fresh dead shrimp, but I did get a can of Fancy Feast Yellowfin Tuna Medley, and that's really rare around here, so it almost made up for the lack of shrimp. Plus I got my regular Stinky Goodness later that night. And I also go a new catnip burlap toy.

Frankly, I was more impressed with the Fancy Feast, but at least there was a present.

I also got to nap all day on the top of the climbing tower; I think that was Buddah's present to me since he likes to get up there and I usually nap on the big bed with the fuzzy blanket.

But yeah. No real live fresh dead shrimp. I am not surprised. Disappointed, but not surprised.

However, any disappointment was soothed over by Buddah and I having a fight on top of the Woman while she was asleep last night. It's entirely her fault for having such a large and squishy butt. We both wanted to curl up on it. If she doesn't like it, she should lose weight and firm those buttcheeks up a little.

Annoying her was fun.

Today, I am 8.
I hope the People remember this.
And I hope they get me some real live fresh dead shrimp.
Because a birthday just isn't happy without some real live fresh dead shrimp.

Ya know, the oddest things get the Woman all excited. A few days ago I was checking out my buds' blogs and she looked over my shoulder in time to see me scoping out what was up with The Creek Cats. Now, they got to test out The World's Greatest Cat Litter and liked it, and because it's flushable the Woman was all Ooohhh we have to try that, I'm tired of litter-stink!

So she and the Man went out and bought a bag, and she was all oooh it has the same texture as the old litter and oooh it's made out of corn, and then she dumped out the old litter and cleaned the box out, and then presented this new litter to us as if Santa had shot it out his...well, his whatever. Use your imagination.

Buddah jumped right in and peed his little brains out. I sniffed it and walked away.

She was all Ohhhh he doesn't have to go now, he'll use it later and I was thinking, "Holy crap, Woman, do you not remember the Great Breeze Box War of 2008?"

Apparently she didn't.

So today it's two days after she changed the litter, and she realizes I stink. Not just weird, I need to bathe stink. More like, "Max, are you dribbling pee?" stink.

"Why yes," I replied as she ate some chicken for dinner, "yes I am. Please give me some chicken."

As soon as she was done she gave me some chicken--because I was POLITE when I asked, dammit--and then she picked me up, and holy cow she groped me!

"Is his bladder full?" asked the Man.

She put me down and started to wash her arm off. "It's full, and he peed on me."

Well, yes, when one has an overly full bladder, one tends to pee on the person who's pushing on it. It was nothing personal, but really now. It was not my fault.

So she dumped the new litter out, proclaiming "I don't really like the smell anyway," (yeah, roll your eyes) and then filled it with my beloved Tidy Cat.

Oh yeah, I jumped in there and peed for about five minutes.

So. I think her lesson has been learned. Don't change Max's litter! But she a little disappointed because the stuff worked really well. It clumped nicely when Buddah peed in it and it flushed just fine. But I refused to even try it, so she wasted $20 on a 17 pound bag of litter.

Having this much power is just awesome.